Press reports out today indicate former Olympic men’s decathlon gold medal winner Caitlyn Jenner has had a successful sex reassignment surgery.
Now that Caitlyn has completed her* transition, I raise the question of whether the International Olympic Committee should right a long-standing injustice. (* Author’s Note: I apologize in advance for the use of any pronoun that might be offensive to sensitive segments of the audience. Any subsequent asterisks indicate my desire to make apologies and restitution and seek forgiveness for any offense I may commit, simply by being.)
This development, this evolution (or is it devolution), this completion of a process having been achieved, shouldn’t we now rebalance certain other things to reflect the new reality of this new Era of Enlightenment?
Since Jenner is now a woman, at least, sort of, according to objective* standards, and since current social norms* require that her gender reassignment is retroactive to, well, to birth,** shouldn’t we move some other things* around? (** – I’d write “conception” but that would involve troubling issues of how to recognize gender identity from conception without recognizing or admitting that life starts at conception, in order to properly recognize the primacy of women’s “right to choose” over just about anything else.)
In plain English, here’s the question: How does Jenner retain the Men’s Decalthon Gold Medal?
(Ohhhhh, she’s a Kardashian. By marriage*. It’s Kardashian Rules. Get it?)
Lord help us.
But seriously, if the International Olympic Committee professes fealty to the New Social (Dis)Order, it needs to revoke Jenner’s gold medal. Pronto. Like, totally retroactively. And give it to Guido Kratschmer, the West German who finished second in the event.
That would bump up Soviet Mykola Avilov to the silver, and Raimo Pihl of Sweden would move up to the bronze.
Imagine, waiting 40 years for your medal!
And since all prior sins must be fully rectified, we need to have a ceremony. Fly each of the three newly-declared medalists to Montreal, light the Olympic Torch, and have the ceremony broadcast worldwide from the Stade de Olympique (Olympic Stadium), the venue built for the 1976 Summer Games and former home of the Montreal Expos, still in use today.
Then, Jenner needs to give back those 40 years’ licensing fees from all those boxes of Wheaties.
After all, economic reparations are what it’s all about.